So what is the purpose of therapy, anyway? What is it supposed to do for you?
Therapy gives you choice. It allows you to have choices instead of automatically thinking/feeling /acting from what your history taught you – about yourself, other people and the world.
Your history, in this case, means your childhood. During those early years you learned by experience what the world is like, what to expect from other people, and who you are. For an example: for the child who was expected to mommy’s little helper and take care of her younger siblings learned that to be a good person was to figure out what someone else needed and do it for them. Maybe she learned to put her own preferences and needs in the background, to never complain or think of herself first, to think of herself as valuable only in the ways she could serve others.
So she grows up to be a what we all call a caretaker, giving “selflessly”, and depressive without knowing why. After all, everyone she knows says she is wonderful! She finally decides to get her own career, and, you guessed it, she becomes a nurse. More depression.
She comes to therapy and discovers what she thought were her own choices where based on what she learned as a child and decides to throw it all off. Her kids do more chores around the house. Her husband comes into therapy with her because she is fed up of his self centered ways and expectations that she be his maid, lover on demand, and the one who takes care of the kids. She gets a new hair cut, loses weight, quits the subservient good girl role at work and becomes an administrator…..you get the picture.
Therapy teaches you how your childhood effected you and gives you choices about what you want to do, who you want to be. How does it do that? Look around at other blog entries, and if you have specific questions, leave a comment and I’ll do my best to explain.