Have Clients Ever Straight Up Lied In Session? Can You Tell ?

Yes, clients do sometimes lie in therapy, and I’ve had my share. Here are a few examples I remember:

An alcoholic says she stopped using when she hadn’t. I had no way of knowing except by hunch, and you can’t confront someone for lying because of a hunch; it could be very disrespectful if you are wrong. By the time the spouse was able to see the lies, the alcoholic client in this case left treatment with me.

An unfaithful partner tells me and his wife he has ended an affair when he hadn’t. The truth came out eventually and I was able to say how it felt to me, and how much time and effort I had wasted, because of the lies.

A Narcissistic Personality Disordered person told me how useful I was being to him so he could tell his wife he had “been to therapy” and in hopes of keeping me from confronting him. It didn’t work, because this one I could see through.

I’m not very patient with devious people who waste my time. I usually ask them to leave, or offer a “one more chance” proposition when I think fear is the dominating motivation rather than straight up manipulation to avoid growing.

Do therapists ever get annoyed at or tired of their clients?

Yes, I think so.

The job of the therapist is to use yourself as an instrument, and be aware of how you ( your instrument) reacts. If you feel angry, irritated or bored with a client, very likely other people would also. So you use the information you’ve received, by your own reaction, in some manner that would be helpful to the client. The trick here is note your feelings to yourself, think about why the client is probably acting the way he is, and not express them as they are felt, for example – not speak angrily. The therapist’s job is to find a way to explain to the the client, so he can understand, how he is creating this reaction in another person without sounding critical. Then it’s the therapist’s job to help the client understand what is going on within himself.

Similarly, if, as therapist, you are “tiring” of your client, or getting bored, it is a signal (to me anyway) that the client is not being authentic, or is not going anywhere useful, i.e. being repetitive. This too can be communicated to the client without judgement and in a clarifying way to help the client in self awareness.

This takes skill, more than simple self control, because you as therapist have to know how to reach that particular client.

What you say may be experienced by the client as a confrontation but one that includes having the therapist’s arm around you, metaphorically.

Transpersonal Psychotherapy

I have been a psychotherapist for 40 years and have done energy work for most of that time. Now, as a Holy Fire III Reiki Master, I am letting the Madison community  know that I enjoy combining Reiki healing work with psychotherapy for many of my clients who are open and interested in both.

Usually people are happy to put forth “to my highest good” as their intention in their energy work, and therefore the energy work expands on the psychotherapy they are presently involved in and enhances their growth. Because the source of the information that is made available is beyond what I or my clients consciously are aware of, these sessions can be especially provocative and useful.

I have also been helpful for people have difficulties with illnesses, injuries and ongoing health problems.  I am happy to accept clients who are only looking for energy healing and not interested in taking on a  course of psychotherapy.